On A More Personal Note...
In the moment. For all that it's worth.
It’s funny. I spent my entire life hiding. I hid the truth of how I was raised by a violent criminal–a deeply traumatic experience–from the world, from the crowd, from those I worked with, and in my social circles. I never volunteered that my dad had been murdered when I was a kid and how it affected me. I never shared that stuff with anyone but my closest friends. A lot of the time, it was out of fear of overwhelming people (which it has with a girlfriend or two), and other times, I felt that others wouldn’t be able to relate and that they’d somehow use that information against me. Or worse, think that I was making shit up to draw attention to myself.
But, slowly, over the years, I became more open about how I dropped out of school in 9th grade, leaving me with only an 8th-grade formal education, some of the hardships I’d gone through, and the bad choices I made along the way. I felt a little pride in the fact that I had become a success in my chosen career despite it all, on my own, with no real help or support from anyone. I was a survivor of things that have driven many others to reckless, desperate lives, prison, and suicide.
And then, one of my greatest fears came to reality. Certain individuals in higher positions at my longtime place of employment, people I considered friends with whom I shared my story, began to resent me for it. One thought I was brokering on people’s sympathy and became insanely jealous whenever their significant other talked me up. They also felt scorn for the uneducated outsider (me) who rose from the streets to be rubbing shoulders with some of the best talents in the industry. They resorted to a mean-spirited campaign of sabotage and character assassination and were wildly successful.
Things grew uglier and darker during the pandemic, with few silver linings. But now that I’m beginning to tell my once-hidden story to the entire world, I’m free. Those who would judge me or try to grind me down cannot touch me now. I’m beholden to no one. I owe no one anything. A new life is beginning just as I'm sensing the end drawing near.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "I am an avid reader of mob and true crime novels. This is one of the best I have ever read." - Amazon review
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "What a page turner! This story is an amazing piece of investigative work—both compelling and heartbreaking." - Amazon review
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “I’d seen the author’s work in OZY but was blown away by this book. It’s SUCH a great read, written from the heart! Full of interest for those historians of the hippie generation, North Beach, corrupt cops, mobbed up pols, and San Francisco in general. Very well written and paced up to the last pages. Truth is indeed stranger than fiction. Buy this book now!" - Amazon review
Jon, You keep it real, my Palo Alto brother. Grace and Peace to you in this new year.
I'm a long time fan, don't hate me for it.